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Saturday, December 21st, 2002
3:09 pm - sorry
for all two of you who read this, sorry i havn't updated!!! I'm in the process of deleting every other entry i've ever written

:) bye bye

p.s. you can e-mail me
stephy16@aol.com

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Tuesday, April 23rd, 2002
6:59 pm - wow. I have a boring life...
Yea. The life I choose to live is a long and boring one. Gosh. That sucks. Tammy. Gosh. You expect me to update like everyday, like I have a life. I got a new icon. I hope ya guys like it. This girl from neopets.com made it for me! Thank you Nicki! Jr is now offically gone. Bye jr! I'll miss you! darnett. oh well. and life goes on....

I got new pants! woo hoo! There pretty. I'll wear them to school and then to rocky or to Jazzies house so she can see them. I think there wonderful! *has been around Tammy to long*. I like them. I talk to Tim. Not for very long but I did. I wonder if anyone reads these anymore. If you do, comment, so I know. Even if I've never talked to you before, and probley never will, just comment. Please. Please. Thank you! I love you! ta ta for now!

current mood: amused

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Sunday, April 21st, 2002
1:28 pm - hi
Fucking shit! I cant stand fucking Apryl! ah!


I was just at her stupid ass house, and she totally just ignored everyone. I was thirsty! I wanted something to drink! I told her I was going to go get something to drink. She told me to just drink that juice she got. I dont like the juice. I told her that and she flipped out. When I left, she said "ungratful bitch". What the hell is that? What did I do? NOt drink her juice? What the hell is that? I understand her family doesnt' have a lot of money, but does that mean i have to drink the nasty ass juice? Let her drink it. She likes it. God.

yea. Got my report card. Now that I know that my parents hate me. I hate that. My friends dont like me eaither as you can tell, Apryl hates me. Tammy wont talk to me at lunch. I guess I have nothing else to do, but um...nothing. great. that sucks that I only had 2 friends, and now I dont have one. Tammy has to hate me. I owe her $2.50. *sigh*. I'll pay her back, thats not a problem. I will. I realized that God never gave me a reason to live. I have to real friends who wanna talk to me, I suck at school, I'm fucking stupid. People go to do stuff like being doctors, or lawyers, or something that helps people. I suck at everything. Why am I here? No reason. Good. Now no one likes me, I'm stupid, and I have no reason to live. Thats nice. Whats gonna happen? Why cant I bring up that stupid fucking grade? Why? Is it that no teachers like me? I would do anything for my friends. Why dont I have any then? I'm not me. I do stuff for people. I'm not myself, just to make them happy. What kind of shit is that? This shit is depressing me. I gotta go. I took about 11 sleeping pills. I'll be out for a bit. bye bye.

current mood: depressed

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Tuesday, April 16th, 2002
8:53 pm - what the hell?
yes, thats weird. I know. *sigh* if you didn't read it, do your self a favor, and do it.

Thats it for today. really. You have to read that whole thing. The beggening is really boring, but you know. Just after that. you know. read. Its so funny. If your having a bad day, this will make you laugh, if your having a good day, this will make it better. REally. ok, bye bye.
do yourself a favor and read thisCollapse )

current mood: thoughtful

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Monday, April 15th, 2002
4:28 pm - PLEASE
Tammy. Please talk to me. I think your mad at me. I wrote you a letter. You may have been caught up or something. I donno. Well, I dont know why or if your mad at me. Just like, leave a comment or whatever. k, bye.

Anyhoo. Ya, well, I had a crappy day, as you can tell from the prevous stanza. so, yea. I guess Jrs day sucked. Cant blame him. If you had to look at kims stupid ugly bitchy ass for 50 minutes, you'd me pissed too. oh well, I'm hoping he'll get over it. I cant think of anything to do with my life. hm...

I'm spending the night at APRYLS ON HER BIRTHDAY! yay. shes an evil kid. born on 4-20. Not me. 11-18! Perfect me. I wish. I guess I'm gonna go. I'm kinda mad tho. Its just because of the whole tammy being mad at me thing. I really wish she wasn't mad. Something happened to Liz, and she was crying. Again. Anyhoo. The reason I was mad, is because it seems like all my friends are getting mad at me. God knows how many friends I have. Hm...lets say about 5 ok friends. I need to get a life. I dont know where I'm going to go when Jr and Apryl leave. Its gonna suck. I'll be lonley. I'll have no where to go....*thinks of next year* oh yea! Next year I'll have an off campus lunch pass. NOw If I could only last that long....anyhoo. I guess I'll go do some homework. bye bye.

current mood: confused

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Sunday, April 14th, 2002
9:00 am
center>

74%

</center>

I am 74% worshipable! And you? Find out!


ok, but the real link to that is http://eccentrically-charged.com/?pg=quizwor

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Saturday, April 13th, 2002
9:22 pm - This sucks
I was supposed to give Jazz a ride to Rocky, and my dad "changed his mind". I feel bad. I am so so so sorry. I am mad at myself for that. I wish my dad would do stuff like that. It makes me so mad. Now people are gonna be mad at me. If not Jazz, Sam, and if not her, all the people who were looking foward to seeing them. *cries* sorry guys. I actually faught with my dad for about 9-10 minutes trying to get him to say yes. Wat a monkey, huh? I really am sorry. I wish I could find another way for you guys to get there. I'm actually asking *ew*meagan to take them. *sigh* sorry. I'm trying my best at 9:30 to have some kind of arrangment for them. It's usless at this point. I feel so bad. I guess my dad doesn't like it when I have fun without him or something. Whatever. gosh. ok, well, goodnight.

current mood: guilty

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Friday, April 12th, 2002
10:21 pm - look. A pathetic way to waste my time!
have you ever...
01. fallen for your best friend?: um..no.
02. made out with JUST a friend?: no. Why would I do that...
03. been rejected?: yuppers. But thats life. Cant we all just, live on?
04. been in love?: No. I am in Like. not love. :)
05. been in lust?: nope. And If I knew what that ment, I'd give more acruate answers.
06. used someone?: For what? no.
07. been used?: No. Not that I know of...*thinks*
08. cheated on someone?: haha. Thats mean. no.
09. been cheated on?: Donno.
10. been kissed?: ......
11. done something you regreat?: No. I dont think so.
who was the last person..
12. you touched?: Rachel. My cousin
13. you talked to?: Rachel.
14. you hugged?: Jr.
15. you instant messaged?: Reptileboy01. (greg)
16. you kissed?: *sigh* Shut up Tammy.
17. you had sex with?: No one.
18. you yelled at?: hm...as a joke, I think Tammy.
19. you laughed with?: Tammy
20. you had a crush on?: someone.
21. who broke your heart?: no one. :)

do you...
22. colour your hair?: I did once. No. Not anymore.
23. have tattoos?: noppers. Dad would shoot me. haha.
24. piercings?: Ya right! I cant stand being pinched with needles.
25. have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both?: I wish
26. floss daily?: Yes!
27. own a webcam?: No. I want one. that would be fun. Pictures!
28. ever get off the damn computer?: You would think...
29. sprechen sie deutsche?: huh?
30. habla espanol?: habla no.
Um... seeing as how 32-39 are missing, I shall add them!!! (ok!)
31. Le parlas francias? um...yes.
32. Dixisne Romana Latina? uh...no.
33. Watch Seasame Street?: nopers. I did when I was small.
34. masturbate; how often?: um. ew.
35. watch independent films?: watch wat now?
36. fall in love and never tell?: no.
37. have trouble saying hello?: no. Thats not hard. "Hi!"
38. have trouble saying good-bye?: nope. "good-bye!"
39. do drugs and drive?: I dont drive OR do drugs.

have you / do you...
40. considered a life of crime?: haha. That would be funny.
41. considered being a hooker?: Ya right. I'd be poor anyhoo.
42. considered being a pimp?: um....no.
43. split personalities?: of course not. huh Stephie? yes. see?
44. schizophrenic?: no.
45. obsessive?: maybe, maybe not. I dont know. I really dont know.
46. compulsive?: no no no no no no no no.
47. obsessive compulsive?: nunt uh!
48. panic?: Only when theres something worth panicing about. LIke the computer not working.
49. anxiety?: ...um...no.
50. depressed?: Me depressed? aRE yo kidding? *cries*
51. suicidal?: ya right. ok.
52. obsessed with hate?: hm. Very Interesting...no.
53. dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: no...
54. dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them?: Doing what?
55. if you could be anywhere, where would you be?: DISNEYLAND! WOO HOO!
56. who would you be with?: me and tammy and whoever else wanted to go. I dont care.
57. what would you be doing?: Stuff.
58. what are you listening to?: Me typing.
59. can you do anything freakish with your body?: I am freakish enough, what else do you want?
60. chicken or fish?: *sings* I FEEL LIKE CHICKEN TONIGHT, CHICKEN TONIGHT!
61. do you have a favourite animal, no matter how lame it may be?: kittys! ah!
62. is ice cream the best thing in the world?: no. I am...j/k. I wish. haha. whoo. no. I guess not. Theres always hugs and kisses and love! yay! *must be high*

current mood: lazy

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Wednesday, April 10th, 2002
8:56 pm - ew
DASYPYGAL is to have a hairy ass. I'll bet you didn't know that

gross huh? anyhoo....lifes boring. I had a massive headache today. I cried for ever because it hurt so bad. oh well. thats life huh? Liz asked why everyone hates her....hm...lets see. no I wont be mean. but still. http://freeky.net/sexdoc.html read thru that. Its pretty gosh darn funny. anyhoo. howz life? good? bad? I donno.

I guess Im gonna go and make fun of people bye yve.

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Monday, April 8th, 2002
5:16 pm - Hello
Wow, I'm bored. I have a secret journal only I know about. And you know now. oh ok. But I only know that address to it! I thought I'd throw that out. hi. TOday sucked. I was so tired all day. I couldn't sleep last night. Whenever I see Tabby she makes kissing noises at me. lol. I'm like "um..ok." Its pretty funny. Ya! I broke my mouse. Its ok now. Dad fixed it. So ya! I talked to Jr today. Wow, I'm glad I started talking to him online because I talk to him at school now. Not that I'll ever see him there anymore. Hes gotta go to EPHS. gosh. everyone has to go to EPHS. oh well. Thats life. *listens to CREED* I love creed. I'll write more later! bye bye. P.s. I like being noticed by the people who write in journals. So I thought you would too! hello to JAZZIE, TIM, TAMMY, JR AND ALL THE REST OF YOU WHO READ MY JOURNAL!

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5:15 pm - hi
Jazzie! I love you!


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Sunday, April 7th, 2002
4:41 pm
hey, do you have codes? Dont want them? Why not give them to me?! e-mail me the codes!

stephnie1118@aol.com

thank you!

Anyhoo. I went to Rocky lastnight. yay! I brought my sister. I think she was grossed out and scared. I was grossed out and scared when I first went. Then I realized that I had a great time anywayz. I think she'll be back. I kissed Tabby... *blink* moving right along here...My dad woke me up at 9. So I got about 6 hours of sleep. I'm sorry but thats not nearly enough for Stephie. Stephie needs about 9-10 hours. Thats why Stephie goes to bed at 8:30! Anyhoo, now to quit talking about myself in the 3rd person context! Hi! I dont wana start school tomorrow. Its gonna be weird waking up again. I guess if I must, I must. I still have rice in my hair. When they started throwing rice I bit my tounge and its swollen. Incase you dont know, At rocky horror picture show, when the two people get married the aduaince throws rice. When they did that, besids bitting my tounge, they got it in my hair, in my shoes, in my shirt, in my eye, and everywhere else possiable. Great huh? Derek is bummed out. He looked so sad. He reminded me of a little baby kitten I just wanted to hug because it was sad. I felt bad. I knew there was really nothing I could do to help. OH well. I hurt my cell phone. haha. Again. Its ok. I bit the anntinna and its all ugly now. *looks to her right* why does my bed look like that? hm. Its really baddly messed up. I mean, it looks like I was murdered in the bed. The pillow is at the foot of my bed, the sheats are um...everywhere, my radio is on my bed upside down....I donno. hm. I want to sleep. I was talking to jazz. She told me to sleep, but when I layed down, I couldn't move...hm. weird. I couldnt get in a good position. Then my dad brought in that nasty, gross, stuff called cottage cheese...ew. He made me eat it. I dont know why. It was sour too! ew. So my father made me eat sour cottage cheese. um... Child services? I'm totally not in a good mood. Its because of the lack of sleep I have to deal with. Tim, I want a picture of your kitties! Gimmie! ok. I never went go Knotts with Apryl. Man. I'll see if she wants to go on Friday after school or on Saturday. Donno. Hey! Tammy! Where have you been?

Oh yeah! Hey jazz, the new rocky...IS HOT! haha. Ok, talk to you later. oh yeah, and JR, your not on monkey crack. Feel better?

current mood: tired

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Saturday, April 6th, 2002
9:35 pm
First name: Stephnie
Middle name: Marie
Last name: Olson
Nickname(s): Stephie
Screen names: stephnie1118 and stephnie2004
Gender: female
Age: 15
Type of Music: whatever.
Birthdate: 11/18/86
Birthplace: Long Beach place.
Zodiac sign: Scorpio
Current Location: Lakewood
Live with: parents, sisters
Name of current school: Lkwd high
Grade/Year(if in college): not in college.
Graduation date/year: donno
GPA: don't know, i could put last semesters GPA but that's not necessary
Height: 5'7"
Weight: hahahahaha, oh...
Hair color: Blonde
Hair length: um....Sholder length.
Eye color: blue
Contacts/glasses: no
Freckles: to many
Birthmark(s): Not that I know of.
Scar(s): hm. No.
Type(s) of clothes you wear: whatever is comfortable
Cologne/Perfume you wear: the stuff...yeah.
Deodorant you use: um...the blue one...

Family Life
Mom's name: Traci
Dad's name: Robert
Closest family member: Heatha
Family member you could live without: eh, so many...
Last family member you've seen: Heatha just walked out of my room.
Oldest: great grandma
Youngest: my cousin, chyenne
Family member who lives the farthest away: who knows.
Fondest memory with my family? the fun ones...
Memory you miss the most: i dunno
Family member you wish the mafia would kill: no one.
Memory you wish you had: being a baby.
What you did yesterday: sat on my ass.
What you did so far today: computer.
Last person you talked to on the phone: Tammys dad.
Last person you talked to online: um....Charels.
Last movie you've seen: What women want
Last song you heard on the radio: Screaming infadeleties.
Last CD you played: wow, dont remember.
Last thing you said out loud: Wheres my gray shirt?
Last time you showered: 20 minutes ago.
Last book you read: the one we're reading in english.
Last time you sang: To the radio like 3 minutes ago.
Last time you danced: at Knotts berry farm.
Last thing you ate/drank: Hot Dogs.

Have you ever (FYI answer yes or no)

Been on a plane: yuppers
Cried in public: uh huh.
Climbed a tree: no
Gotten in a physical fight: kinda
Drank alcohol: yes
Fell asleep in a movie theater: no
Driven a car: kinda
Been arrested: No!
Broken curfew: nunt uh.
Been pulled over when driving: noppers
Farted in public: lol....
Met a celebrity: no.
Skipped school: yes
Went to a pro sports game: yes
Met the president: no
Been scared to get shot: no
Smoke a cigarette: no!
Gotten a cavity: no
Done any drugs: nope
Shopped at Abercrombie & Fitch: huh?
Gone skinny-dipping: no.

boring.

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12:49 am
img src="http://keightee.weezerfans.com/hashpipe.jpg" border="1">




Which Weezer Song are You?

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Friday, April 5th, 2002
11:58 pm - Well, this sucks
No one will ever like me and I'll die lonley because I'm ugly and stuff. man. that sucks. I will guys wern't so shallow minded as to go for the skinny barbie bitch. Man. I'd do better if I went lesbian...oh well. I'm not. I can tell you that now. I like a guy that knows it to much to turn lesbo. :) that would be intristing tho. lol. *thinks of friends faces if she told them that* lol. Still. Maybe I should crawl into a hole and wait until guys dont go for the bitchy barbie anymore. JR says I'm not ugly. ha ha. I wish he was right. Will you people puh-lease explain to me, if i'm not ugly and I'm nice and funny (which i am), why dont guys like me?....that sux. oh well. I guess this is Gods way of telling me that I suck.

what else is new? Nada, because my life is boring. This sucks. ah. I need some kind of life. and a boyfriend. Will you go out with me? ok, your a journal. of course not. See even a journal doesnt like me...*desides to lay off the crack*

Can you just imagin Tammys face if I told her I was lesbo? LOL LOL LOL!!!!!! I'm not tammy. calm down. I also realized that my friends dont give me love anymore. I want love. That would be eaiser if I had a few friends. lol. ok, theres Tammy, Apryl, and Jazz....I dont think Apryl is the loving type...I never see Jazz....and tammy went obsessed with Liz. That leaves....oh, no one. yay. I guess I get to die friendless too. whoop dee fricken doo.

Why did my day suck so bad you ask? Because. I've been here with my dad yelling at me, my dog barly alive, my room a mess, being friendless, having no one to go anywhere with because their all out with their boyfriends (with the exception of Jazz who is at her cute friends house dying his hair), my mom isn't home to save me from the blood-sucking father, and my hair is cut uneven. AND no one is online to complain to.... *needs some kind of life*

Tammy asked in her journal: whats worse, having something you dont want; or wanting something you cant have?

thats like asking what came first, the chicken or the egg? Its almost impossiable to answer. I would do anything. Yes, anything (except kill or hurt people or alive things) to have these tickets to creed. I would stand on my head for 3 days to get the tickets. I just cant have them, because if I got them, my dad would take them. I want you know who, but I cant have them because of whatever reason that person has. I want a life, but I cant have that because I'd ruin the second one just as bad as the first one.

The things I have but dont want, is the same as the list above. I have such a love for creed, i'd do anything for them. I dont want that much of a love for a band. I have a major love for some guy, that sux because nothing will ever happen with it. If thats true, and nothing happens with it, i dont want it. ha, but if that some one wants to do somethign about it, then its fine. this question sucks.

I dont know the exact words, or who said it in what song, but it says something like "have you ever loved someone so bad it makes you cry?"
My answer is...well, no. I think that that is what true love is supposed to feel like. People say that its supposed to be nice, but how can it? If the other person doesnt like that one person...it hurts. I never cried over a guy, but I felt pretty gosh darn bad about not being able to even talk to them. And if they both love eachother, what about all the other things in life? Your going to give up life? hm...wow. I'm thinking to hard. Life, the one thing that made sence to this poor blonde, has lost all meaning. This is what they mean when they say you cant figure out a woman. huh.

But, why? Why do things happen? Why do people cry, or people hurt? Why does God make us feel so bad? What is he proving when he takes the life of a 14 year old girl? Not to do whatever she did? Well, what did she do? If God mde everyone from himself, why are their people who kill others, and hurt eachother? huh...

I need a life. sitting here, I realized that I have sat here, at this same spot sence 8 this morning. Why? Dont I have things to do? People to talk to? gosh. sorry about this being so long. I just wanted to say some stuff.

I used to be able to answer questions like this. My friends used to ask them to me. I had perfect answers. Now, whatever I say to myself, it doesn't help. well, i'm gonna find something to waste my time until I die. bye

current mood: thoughtful

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Saturday, March 23rd, 2002
8:35 am - hi
Bueno people. I need to start updating more. I'm doing Lauras stupid report. I dont wanna. and, at the same time, I'm making my dads re`sume` online. Oh the powers of the internet. My poor friend has to get a root canal. Can you say OUCH!?!?! That sux monkey balls. I haven't talked to Tammy in a while. Shes always doing her musical thingy. That or she is with Liz. I'm really sorry, but I'd rather stay near sane people with out flat faces like Meagan. The only time I spend with Tammy is the time we mouth out words from across the room in Choris, and the 9 minutes at neutrion. I wish she would talk to me and Apryl more. Apryl is leaving soon, and that will leave me with the few people near the tree at lunch. I would go to were tammy hangs out, but there are a few people over there I dont like: Liz!! Meagan!! James (that tall guy), Brian (the phyco greaser), and those weird people around them. Cant stand it. But anyhoo....

I saw Ice Age. It was funny. I liked it. I wanna see it again. It'll be fun. Maybe I'll go with that girl I used to hang out with. Whats her name? Starts with a T. I dont remember. I haven't talked to her in like forever. Oh yeah TAMMY MICHELLE HAMILTON! I dont know. Maybe. If she's not to busy with Liz or Meagan, or that musical. maybe.

This is taking forever because I'm doing....1) talking to Sara 2) doing my dads resume 3) typing in this thing 4)doing Lauras report 5) fixing this stupid virus...

5 very time-taking tasks. I'll be done with some soon. I HATE THIS VIRUS! I'M JUST GOING TO QUORINTEN IT! gosh.

Anyhoo. I'd better finish my dad resume. bye bye.

current mood: busy

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Thursday, March 21st, 2002
7:24 pm - just checking
I wanna see if this works. Thank you Tim!

what the...Collapse )

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7:11 pm - Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And Summers lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime to hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or natures changing course, untrimmed;
But thy eternal lines to time thou growst:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee

William Shakespeare

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6:55 pm

What kind of drunk are you?

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3:14 pm - nevermind
Hello again. I'm so bored. Hey! I've got mail. finally. No one ever writes me. You know what I have noticed? THis is your special time, you get to know something stephie just noticed. I have not lived a day, (when my dad was around) since 6th grade, that I have not cryed once in a day becuase of him. He makes me feel so bad about myself. Howz bout we never speak of this again. k? ok. Anyhoo. Howz life people? I went to go see Ice Age. It was sold out. Of course. so I saw...whats that movie....oh! showtime. with the two cops and stuff. ya. So there was a guy who was in the movie there, so half the theater was reserved. kinda sucked, it was also kinda cool at the same time. Whatever.

I need to find a book to read. I need a good one. Someone tell me one! come on. I know you people had to read at least one book in your life that was good. I may end up reading a S.E. Hinton book again. I love her. She was so cool. I love all the books she wrote. I read 3 books by her.

I need money. My dad wont give me free money anymore. Must find a job. or something. I'm going to work at the Lakewood Police Station as a cadit (secretary) in the summer time. I have to! Its $10 an hour and you dont do a lot! yay!

I haven't talk to some people. I mean a lot of people. I dont talk to any of my friends anymore. *crys* darnett! I can start talking to Lee again. yayaya! ok, bye bye!

current mood: chipper

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